Top 10 list: Reasons Not to Do Your Homework

1. Because the voices told me to polish the guns and get ready for Armageddon.
2. Because Timmy won’t let me take off the gag and zipper mask until I do HIS homework first.
3. Because they’d kick me out of my street gang.
4. Because the warden would just take the pen away from me and I’d no longer have a sharp object to stab the prison guard with.
5. “Reasons not to do YOUR homework”? Because it’s YOURS, not MINE.
6. Because 10 years from now, when I’m working for the man, the chances are like ZIP that he’s going to pin me down in my cubicle and say, “hey, a–hole, what was the central theme of The Purloined Letter and what was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle really trying to say in the final paragraph?”
7. Because it doesn’t fetch $3000 a pound on the street.
8. Because it’s a far better return on my time just to pimp my sister and use the money to pay the smart kid to do it.
9. Because it’s a year overdue.
10. Which of the following always did HIS homework:
   a) Ludacris
   b) 50 cent
   c) Usher
   d) The guy that heads up the office of meat inspection at the USDA.